Friends play an essential role in your life, so it’s crucial to choose wisely.
Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
Well said, right? Friends add spice and variety to our lives. The best ones accept you for who you are while encouraging you to become the best version of yourself.
That’s why choosing friends can be tricky. I could write a whole book on tips for selecting friends, but today, let’s focus on just one powerful tip that might surprise you—because it’s something many people overlook.
This Tip Can Change How You Think About Friendship
Pay attention to how your friend treats other people.
Choose Your Friends Wisely
You might not think about this because your friend already treats you well. But will that continue?
The reason you should watch how your friend interacts with others is that there’s a good chance they’ll treat you similarly over time. If your friend is polite, friendly, and empathetic toward everyone, you can trust that they’ll extend the same kindness to you. However, if they’re rude, cruel, or intolerant towards others, it’s a red flag for how they might eventually treat you.
C.S. Lewis, the famous author of The Chronicles of Narnia, once said that friendship is often born when two people discover they share something in common. True friendship is rare, and many people believe they have genuine friends when, in reality, they don’t.
Check That Your Friends Share the Same Values as You
When you and your friends treat others similarly, it’s a sign that you share the same values. Let me share a story to illustrate this:
Sam and Jude had been best friends for seven years. Jude was a bully, particularly towards people in the LGBTQ+ community. This didn’t sit well with Sam, who was tolerant and positive towards everyone, but he never confronted Jude because he didn’t want to lose the friendship.
One day, after Jude was unnecessarily rude to a couple, Sam finally spoke up, telling Jude that what he did wasn’t right and that Sam had a cousin in a queer relationship.
Jude was shocked and responded with terrible remarks that don’t deserve to be repeated. That was the end of what Sam thought was a great friendship because Jude never contacted him again.
Sam and Jude didn’t share the same values regarding how they treated others, especially those who were different from them. The fallout was inevitable because sharing similar values with your friends is crucial.
Sharing the same values doesn’t mean being identical to your friend or copying their every move. It means that on important issues—like how to treat other people—you agree. If you both believe in treating everyone with respect, dignity, and acceptance, then you share the same values.
Choosing Friends Wisely Can Be Tricky
Sam never imagined that a friend of seven years could turn against him just because he confronted them about how they treated others. If you’re like Sam, avoiding difficult conversations with your friends about their behavior toward others, you need to understand that your friendship might end suddenly one day.
We all deserve friends who share our values. But when it comes down to it, we must be ready to make the tough decision to end or not start a friendship with someone who behaves in ways that don’t align with our beliefs.
I hope this helps!