When someone asked me for tips on being happy, I was both excited and a bit concerned. They asked, “Do you have tips on being happy? How are you happy all the time?” While I love sharing positivity tips, let’s be clear about one thing:
Life is full of situations, events, and people that can affect your mood in an instant. The real question is, how do you stay positive regardless of what life throws your way?
Happiness is One Positive Emotion, But So Are Hope and Inspiration
We often think of happiness as the ultimate positive emotion, the one we should always strive for. There’s even a whole movie about the pursuit of happiness! The truth is, happiness isn’t a constant state—it comes and goes. And that’s okay. In fact, it would be pretty dull if we were happy all the time; without other emotions to contrast it with, happiness would lose its meaning.
What’s important is that we aim to experience as many positive emotions as possible. When you learn to frame your experiences positively, you’ll discover a whole range of uplifting emotions that aren’t necessarily about being happy. As the title suggests, hope and inspiration are powerful positive emotions that can profoundly impact your life. You can feel hopeful and inspired even in the absence of happiness. When things don’t go as planned, reframing your experiences can help you prepare for better outcomes in the future.
Understanding the Subjectivity of Experiences
Experiences are subjective; their interpretation depends on the individual. Don’t get me wrong—some experiences are universally distressing. However, how you choose to interpret and frame even the worst experiences can open the door to inspiration. And with inspiration comes hope, excitement, and eventually, happiness.
A powerful example of positive framing is Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. Have you heard of this book? In it, Frankl recounts his experience of surviving the Holocaust—one of history’s most horrific events—through a positive lens. He finds meaning in hope, love, inner freedom, and the pursuit of beauty, demonstrating how even the most harrowing experiences can be endured and transformed.
The Importance of Framing Your Experiences Positively
No matter what you go through, you have the ability to reframe your experiences and maintain a positive outlook. While this isn’t always easy, it’s a simple process that can make a significant difference.
How to Frame a Bad Experience Positively
Since we’ve established that no one can be happy all the time, let’s focus on how to use positive framing to get through challenging situations.
When something bad happens, our instinct is often to fight or flee. Positive framing helps us navigate these situations without causing harm to ourselves or others.
Let’s try an exercise. Think of a recent negative experience.
Hold that thought as we work through the steps to reframe it.
- Make a Note: Write down the details of that negative event, either on your phone or on a piece of paper. This act of documenting your thoughts can help clear your mind and reduce overthinking.
- Identify One Positive Aspect: Find at least one positive takeaway from the experience. It could be something as simple as, “At least I can learn from this,” or “I felt better after distracting myself with something enjoyable.” There’s always a silver lining if you look for it.
- Use Relative Thinking: Compare this experience to other challenges you’ve faced or that someone close to you has endured. If you or they managed to overcome past difficulties, you can get through this one too.
- Reflect on Past Growth: Think about how you’ve changed after previous negative experiences. Often, we learn valuable lessons and make changes to avoid repeating mistakes, which leads to personal growth.
- Change Your Words: The language you use to describe an experience can shape your perception of it. Try replacing negative words like “nosy,” “dramatic,” or “annoying” with “curious,” “expressive,” and “passionate.” This subtle shift in language can have a powerful impact on how you view and move on from the event.
No One Can Be Happy All The Time…
But with positive framing, you can stay positive all the time. Positivity and positive emotions help us grow, keep us connected to what matters, and guide us through life’s ups and downs.
When happiness seems out of reach, remember that there are other ways to stay positive.
I hope this guide helps you on your journey.
