Being your parent’s caretaker represents both a change in your parent’s life and a new chapter in your relationship, so it could be difficult to get used to. In addition, taking care of someone else is a big duty that takes a lot of effort, time, and sacrifice. It’s critical to know when to intervene and to establish boundaries between what your parent needs and what you can manage.
Identifying When to Intervene as an Adult Child
Family members may become caregivers for a parent for a variety of reasons, such as a parent’s steady decline in health, an unexpected medical emergency, the emergence of new health concerns, a new diagnosis or course of treatment, etc. Each family may experience this understanding at a different moment and for different reasons that it’s time for adult children to take charge and enlist their parents’ assistance. Having said that, it’s crucial to be engaged in your parent’s daily activities as they age in order for you to detect any gradual changes in their routines or behaviors.
If you notice a change in your parent’s routine, you may be able to intervene or arrange for additional care for them. An example of a pattern shift would be elderly parents missing out on friend dates, failing to pay bills on time, forgetting to schedule a doctor’s visit, etc. The more involved you are, the more adept you will be at spotting warning signs that indicate your parent needs help.
Setting limits, doing your homework, and realizing the consequences of your actions are crucial before taking on this new role as a family caregiver.
Having Expectations
It’s crucial that you and your parent discuss your expectations for this relationship and your boundaries before you start taking care of your aging parent. There are two parts to this procedure because it involves a significant adjustment in both of your lives.
When dealing with your aging or elderly parent, exercise compassion and patience. It’s difficult for you both to accept that they are not the same as they once were, so take the time to acknowledge it. Tell them you’re supporting them and are only attempting to assist them in their time of need not trying to push your own agenda.
It’s critical that you comprehend your parent’s care objectives as well. Ask your parents questions, such who they would like to be their power of attorney in the event that they are unable to make decisions for themselves, if you haven’t already. Verify that they have completed an advanced directive as well. Although these discussions can be difficult, your parents have undoubtedly considered it. Five wishes might be a very helpful tool if you need assistance broaching the subject.
Make sure you or your parent discusses this with a medical professional, social worker, or lawyer. Rules pertaining to what qualifies as an advance directive vary by state.
Informing them of the responsibilities you feel comfortable and uneasy about taking on as a caregiver is another technique to set expectations. For instance, you could feel comfortable assisting them with household chores and meal preparation, but you would like to arrange for at-home care for them as soon as medical needs arise. But learning about and comprehending the myriad facets of a caregiver’s duties is crucial to knowing what you’re willing to and aren’t willing to undertake.
The Physical Aspects of Providing Care
Being a caretaker has so many diverse aspects that most individuals are unaware of how these responsibilities change throughout time.
Living Conditions
Selecting the location for the health care services for seniors is going to be one of the first tasks in taking care of an elderly parent. Should the adult child decide to take care of everyone, they can decide to live with their parents or move in with them. If you want more options, you should consider an independent living community, assisted living community, senior living community, or nursing facility. If you need help navigating this difficult process, consider contacting a social worker or an organization that supports seniors in your community.
Financial Guidance
As parents get older, they could want your intervention to help them manage their money. Financial support could take the form of managing medical appointments and making sure insurance plans are current, organizing and paying payments, or contacting local or state services for in home health care services coordination. Seniors might benefit from a multitude of support programs available.
Providing Alzheimer’s or Dementia Care for Someone
If dementia or Alzheimer’s disease runs in your family, it’s also advantageous to be actively involved in your parent’s everyday life because it enables you to keep an eye out for any changes in their mental health. Some early indicators of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease to be aware of include, but are not restricted to:
Memory Loss
This can involve asking the same questions again and over, depending a lot on notes or reminders to help you remember things, losing newly learned knowledge, or starting to forget significant dates.
Difficulties with Planning or Problem-Solving:
People suffering from dementia may find it difficult to follow precise plans or to deal with figures, such as when tracking expenses or following a recipe.
Incapacity to Finish Known Tasks:
Many Alzheimer’s patients struggle to finish known tasks in the early stages of the disease, such making a grocery list or driving to a known place.
Time and Location-Related Confusion:
Patients with Alzheimer’s disease frequently experience confusion regarding their location or how they got there because they lose sense of time (dates, seasons, etc.).
Vision Problems:
Perception of depth and color or contrast problems are early indicators of Alzheimer’s disease and frequently cause problems when driving. As patients age, blurred vision is usual; however, if they are having trouble with color perception or depth perception, this may indicate Alzheimer’s disease.
Conversational Difficulties:
Many individuals with memory loss in any form may find it difficult to follow a conversation. This could indicate that they frequently repeat themselves, stop talking in the middle of a sentence, or have language problems.
Possessions Lost or Misplaced:
An individual suffering from Alzheimer’s disease may arrange objects in peculiar locations, leading to misplacing or loss of possessions.
Poor judgment:
As their memory loss progresses, they may find it more difficult to make decisions, such as changing their spending patterns or rarely taking care of their hygiene.
Social Withdrawal:
People with Alzheimer’s or dementia frequently start to distance themselves from their jobs and social interactions as a result of their deteriorating conversational abilities.
Managing When Taking Care of Your Elderly Parents
In this process, developing coping mechanisms as a caregiver is essential as it reduces the likelihood of “caregiver burnout.” When a caregiver experiences burnout, the burden of their caregiving duty overwhelms them, leaving them emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. Verify that you are covered where necessary by looking into funding, local initiatives, government resources, and more. You have access to a database that is brimming with resources as a caregiver. Sustaining your general health and well-being is essential to feeling fulfilled and in balance while fulfilling your obligations. Make sure you’re at your best by maintaining a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, and spending time with your loved ones.
